1 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:06,000 Sync by fant0m www.addic7ed.com 2 00:00:10,106 --> 00:00:11,139 'Til Death is filmed 3 00:00:11,207 --> 00:00:13,223 in front of a live studio audience. 4 00:00:14,815 --> 00:00:16,809 Eddie, you can't order food, 5 00:00:16,877 --> 00:00:18,203 Tell them it's disgusting, 6 00:00:18,270 --> 00:00:19,663 Have them take it off the check 7 00:00:19,723 --> 00:00:21,286 And then ask for a to-go. 8 00:00:22,553 --> 00:00:25,321 I got a swan full of lasagna that begs to differ. 9 00:00:27,291 --> 00:00:28,658 Surprise! 10 00:00:28,717 --> 00:00:29,651 Allison! 11 00:00:29,705 --> 00:00:30,997 Oh, my Ally! 12 00:00:31,065 --> 00:00:32,460 Hey, honey. 13 00:00:32,527 --> 00:00:35,156 Hey, surprise. 14 00:00:35,990 --> 00:00:37,155 Doug. 15 00:00:37,223 --> 00:00:38,853 I'm so sorry I wasn't here 16 00:00:38,921 --> 00:00:39,920 To greet you guys properly. 17 00:00:39,988 --> 00:00:41,886 I was just using the facilities. 18 00:00:41,954 --> 00:00:43,652 Please tell me that's sink water 19 00:00:43,719 --> 00:00:45,718 And lie to me if it's not. 20 00:00:47,252 --> 00:00:48,218 So, what are you guys doing here? 21 00:00:48,286 --> 00:00:49,385 Mom, dad, 22 00:00:49,453 --> 00:00:51,454 I have some pretty exciting news. 23 00:00:51,522 --> 00:00:53,655 No baby, no baby, no baby, no baby. 24 00:00:55,357 --> 00:00:56,523 I got off the wait list 25 00:00:56,591 --> 00:00:58,226 For the semester abroad program. 26 00:00:58,293 --> 00:00:59,995 I'm going to paris. 27 00:01:00,063 --> 00:01:01,697 That is the best news! 28 00:01:01,765 --> 00:01:03,599 Oh, oh, ok. I died for a few seconds. 29 00:01:03,666 --> 00:01:05,865 Tell me what I missed? 30 00:01:05,932 --> 00:01:06,865 I would leave on Friday. 31 00:01:06,932 --> 00:01:09,066 I just...I just need a check for $1,500. 32 00:01:09,134 --> 00:01:10,133 Well, let's go to my bank. 33 00:01:10,201 --> 00:01:11,567 You can hold it up. 34 00:01:11,633 --> 00:01:12,897 What? 35 00:01:12,965 --> 00:01:13,930 Honey, listen. 36 00:01:13,998 --> 00:01:15,363 I would love for you to go, but you can't. 37 00:01:15,430 --> 00:01:16,596 Dad, you told me I could go. 38 00:01:16,662 --> 00:01:17,696 Yeah, I know, but that's 39 00:01:17,764 --> 00:01:18,864 When you were on the waiting list. 40 00:01:18,931 --> 00:01:20,364 You see, you're no longer on the waiting list. 41 00:01:20,432 --> 00:01:21,631 You're now on the truth list, 42 00:01:21,699 --> 00:01:24,032 And the truth is, daddy't of greenbacks. 43 00:01:25,066 --> 00:01:26,399 Sir, if I may, 44 00:01:26,467 --> 00:01:27,433 I think this would be 45 00:01:27,501 --> 00:01:29,234 A really great opportunity for her. 46 00:01:29,302 --> 00:01:30,868 She needs to see the world. 47 00:01:30,935 --> 00:01:32,269 The mushrooms that grow in my van 48 00:01:32,336 --> 00:01:34,936 Can only expand her mind so much, you know? 49 00:01:35,771 --> 00:01:36,703 I actually think 50 00:01:36,771 --> 00:01:38,105 That this is a really good idea, 51 00:01:38,172 --> 00:01:39,639 And I'm gonna go get the checkbook. 52 00:01:39,707 --> 00:01:41,575 H-honey, have you seen our balance lately? 53 00:01:41,643 --> 00:01:46,644 I mean, our checkbook is basically just scrap paper with pandas on it. 54 00:01:48,413 --> 00:01:49,613 What are you... What are you doing? 55 00:01:49,681 --> 00:01:50,981 We can afford this. 56 00:01:51,049 --> 00:01:52,678 No, we can... listen, the only reason 57 00:01:52,746 --> 00:01:53,777 We were out to dinner tonight 58 00:01:53,845 --> 00:01:56,579 Was because you won a raffle. 59 00:01:56,646 --> 00:01:58,046 Ok, do you like that couple out there? 60 00:01:58,114 --> 00:01:59,881 Do you want to look at that for the rest of your life? 61 00:01:59,948 --> 00:02:01,982 No. Then she's going on the trip. 62 00:02:02,049 --> 00:02:03,082 Well, look. 63 00:02:03,150 --> 00:02:04,016 What...what difference is it gonna make anyway? 64 00:02:04,084 --> 00:02:05,850 They're only gonna be apart 6 months. 65 00:02:05,918 --> 00:02:08,352 Oh! You are so naive. 66 00:02:09,420 --> 00:02:11,086 When a young woman goes to europe, 67 00:02:11,154 --> 00:02:12,354 Do you know what happens? 68 00:02:12,422 --> 00:02:13,355 No, I really don't. 69 00:02:13,422 --> 00:02:14,755 But why don't we just save $1,500 70 00:02:14,823 --> 00:02:17,323 And just rent sisterhood of the traveling pants? 71 00:02:20,960 --> 00:02:22,026 She goes to Europe. 72 00:02:22,094 --> 00:02:23,394 She meets european guys, 73 00:02:23,461 --> 00:02:25,161 And do you know what european guys do? 74 00:02:25,229 --> 00:02:27,896 Things that make you forget about your lame hometown boyfriend 75 00:02:27,964 --> 00:02:29,997 And his van full of magical mushrooms. 76 00:02:30,065 --> 00:02:31,798 Oh, please. 77 00:02:31,866 --> 00:02:32,899 Believe me. 78 00:02:32,967 --> 00:02:34,867 Sophomore year, I did a semester in madrid. 79 00:02:34,935 --> 00:02:37,102 I don't think I had my top on once. 80 00:02:37,169 --> 00:02:38,336 I mean, I stepped off the plane 81 00:02:38,404 --> 00:02:40,837 And it was guy after guy after guy. 82 00:02:42,172 --> 00:02:43,372 All right. Ok, we get it. 83 00:02:43,440 --> 00:02:45,440 J-just bring it down a notch. 84 00:02:46,475 --> 00:02:48,509 Oh, I want to go back there. 85 00:02:49,343 --> 00:02:50,276 Well, you know what? 86 00:02:50,344 --> 00:02:52,011 I...I think you ended up pretty happy 87 00:02:52,078 --> 00:02:53,412 With your guy back home 88 00:02:53,479 --> 00:02:55,179 Well, it is what it is. 89 00:02:56,481 --> 00:02:57,614 Come on. Listen. We're doing this. 90 00:02:57,682 --> 00:02:58,882 Whoa. No, we are not doing it. 91 00:02:58,949 --> 00:02:59,916 It is way too expensive 92 00:02:59,983 --> 00:03:01,417 And we can't afford it. 93 00:03:01,484 --> 00:03:02,417 End of conversation. 94 00:03:02,485 --> 00:03:04,385 The head of the household has spoken. 95 00:03:05,554 --> 00:03:07,654 You know, 96 00:03:07,721 --> 00:03:09,322 Part of me is glad your dad won't let you go. 97 00:03:09,389 --> 00:03:10,689 'cause then it'll give us 98 00:03:10,757 --> 00:03:12,891 All kinds of time to just be 99 00:03:12,958 --> 00:03:14,058 And do 100 00:03:14,126 --> 00:03:16,026 And feel. 101 00:03:17,328 --> 00:03:18,627 Give me the pandas. 102 00:03:24,632 --> 00:03:25,566 Where is Doug? 103 00:03:25,633 --> 00:03:26,533 You are going to miss your flight. 104 00:03:26,600 --> 00:03:27,633 He'll be here. 105 00:03:27,701 --> 00:03:28,568 Hey, you know what, honey? 106 00:03:28,635 --> 00:03:30,602 Why don't we take you, huh? 107 00:03:30,670 --> 00:03:33,371 Yeah, dad. That's a real romantic european send-off. 108 00:03:33,439 --> 00:03:35,439 You loading me down with handiwipes 109 00:03:35,507 --> 00:03:38,041 To mop the germs off my tray table. 110 00:03:38,108 --> 00:03:39,908 Everybody knows that airplanes are 111 00:03:39,976 --> 00:03:42,544 Just flying tubes of disease. 112 00:03:42,611 --> 00:03:43,845 Here he is. 113 00:03:43,912 --> 00:03:45,546 I'm so sorry I'm late. 114 00:03:46,614 --> 00:03:48,315 For my fair maiden. 115 00:03:48,382 --> 00:03:49,315 What are these? 116 00:03:49,383 --> 00:03:50,884 Well, I was a little nervous 117 00:03:50,951 --> 00:03:51,884 About you traveling, 118 00:03:51,952 --> 00:03:52,918 So, I stopped by a creek 119 00:03:52,986 --> 00:03:54,486 And gathered some pebbles with good energy 120 00:03:54,554 --> 00:03:56,488 To keep in your purse. 121 00:03:58,424 --> 00:04:00,524 Holy mother of gayness. 122 00:04:03,593 --> 00:04:05,827 Unfortunately, when I got back to the van, 123 00:04:05,895 --> 00:04:06,895 I realized that the engine 124 00:04:06,963 --> 00:04:08,196 Had dropped out through the floor, 125 00:04:08,264 --> 00:04:10,598 So I had to run the rest of the way. 126 00:04:10,665 --> 00:04:12,999 But, luckily, I found this running twig 127 00:04:13,067 --> 00:04:14,867 And it totally tripled my speed. 128 00:04:17,137 --> 00:04:18,737 Running twig? Really? 129 00:04:18,805 --> 00:04:20,838 We're all just gonna let that one go? 130 00:04:22,640 --> 00:04:24,641 All right. You know what? We're gonna take you. 131 00:04:24,709 --> 00:04:26,443 Daddy, I told you. I just want to go with Doug. 132 00:04:26,511 --> 00:04:27,878 Ok. Here. Take your father's car. 133 00:04:27,946 --> 00:04:29,047 Why my car? 134 00:04:29,115 --> 00:04:30,148 What's the matter with your car? 135 00:04:30,216 --> 00:04:32,084 My car is downtown with a boot on it. 136 00:04:32,151 --> 00:04:33,485 What? 137 00:04:33,553 --> 00:04:34,853 Yeah, I got a bunch of parking tickets. 138 00:04:34,921 --> 00:04:36,454 I didn't pay 'em. I got subpeonaed 139 00:04:36,522 --> 00:04:37,889 And there's a warrant out for my... 140 00:04:37,957 --> 00:04:38,990 Oh, blah, blah, blah. 141 00:04:39,058 --> 00:04:39,991 Anyway, take his car. 142 00:04:40,059 --> 00:04:40,926 Ok, wait...wait. Hold it. 143 00:04:40,993 --> 00:04:41,993 If you're gonna take my car, 144 00:04:42,061 --> 00:04:43,361 You gotta take my shortcut. 145 00:04:43,428 --> 00:04:44,827 No, Eddie. Not the shortcut. 146 00:04:44,895 --> 00:04:47,062 That woman has never missed a plane in 20 years 147 00:04:47,130 --> 00:04:48,263 Because of my shortcut. 148 00:04:48,331 --> 00:04:49,563 Ok, now, this is what you're gonna do. 149 00:04:49,631 --> 00:04:51,098 You're gonna hop on the 411, 150 00:04:51,166 --> 00:04:52,232 Then you take the turnpike. 151 00:04:52,300 --> 00:04:55,835 You get off the exit 59b. That's 5-9er bravo. 152 00:04:55,902 --> 00:04:59,270 It's gonna be a quick right, quick right, crazy quick left. 153 00:04:59,338 --> 00:05:01,271 Then you're gonna end up at, like, this refinery, ok? 154 00:05:01,339 --> 00:05:02,339 There's gonna be a gate. 155 00:05:02,407 --> 00:05:03,740 You can ask for a guy named frank. 156 00:05:03,808 --> 00:05:05,642 You're gonna mention my name. He's gonna let you through. 157 00:05:05,709 --> 00:05:07,010 There's gonna be a dirt road. 158 00:05:07,077 --> 00:05:09,412 You're gonna take it 10 miles all the way to the tarmac. 159 00:05:11,715 --> 00:05:14,884 Ok, so, is that a right or a left out of the driveway? 160 00:05:21,857 --> 00:05:23,791 To a future without Doug in it. 161 00:05:23,858 --> 00:05:24,958 Mmm. Amen. 162 00:05:26,361 --> 00:05:27,928 You know, I always used to have this nightmare 163 00:05:27,996 --> 00:05:30,030 Where they got married and then their little kids 164 00:05:30,098 --> 00:05:31,031 Ended up running around 165 00:05:31,099 --> 00:05:32,900 In scraggly beards and flip-flops 166 00:05:32,968 --> 00:05:34,836 Calling me granddude. 167 00:05:37,873 --> 00:05:40,173 That's her. I told her to call before she took off. 168 00:05:41,309 --> 00:05:42,242 Hello? 169 00:05:42,310 --> 00:05:43,676 Hey, mama. 170 00:05:43,744 --> 00:05:45,011 Hi, sweetie! 171 00:05:45,079 --> 00:05:46,212 Hi! I just wanted to call 172 00:05:46,280 --> 00:05:48,081 And say thank you again for letting me go. 173 00:05:48,148 --> 00:05:50,182 Oh, it's our pleasure, babe. 174 00:05:50,250 --> 00:05:51,784 Ask her if she wiped down the tray table. 175 00:05:52,852 --> 00:05:53,852 And also the arm rest. 176 00:05:53,920 --> 00:05:55,620 Honey, under no circumstances 177 00:05:55,688 --> 00:05:57,590 Do you put those complimentary earbuds 178 00:05:57,658 --> 00:05:59,192 Into your head. 179 00:05:59,260 --> 00:06:01,461 They're not even on the plane yet, Eddie. 180 00:06:01,529 --> 00:06:02,963 Oh, hold on one second, mama. 181 00:06:06,167 --> 00:06:08,068 Oh! You have 16a. 182 00:06:08,136 --> 00:06:09,369 I am 16b. 183 00:06:09,437 --> 00:06:10,504 Who...who is that, sweetie? 184 00:06:10,572 --> 00:06:12,506 What's going on? What's going on? 185 00:06:12,573 --> 00:06:14,574 I'm just talking to the guy who's sitting next to me. 186 00:06:14,642 --> 00:06:15,876 She's talking to the guy next... 187 00:06:15,943 --> 00:06:17,911 He's french. He sounds hot. 188 00:06:17,979 --> 00:06:18,979 What does he do? 189 00:06:20,114 --> 00:06:21,481 Ally, what does he do? 190 00:06:21,549 --> 00:06:24,717 I...mom, he just pulled a magazine out of his bag. 191 00:06:24,785 --> 00:06:26,753 He just pulled a magazine out of his bag. 192 00:06:26,820 --> 00:06:27,687 Have her smell the bag. 193 00:06:27,754 --> 00:06:28,754 See if it's real leather. 194 00:06:28,822 --> 00:06:29,955 I'm telling... stop it. 195 00:06:30,023 --> 00:06:31,990 Ok, mama? I gotta go. 196 00:06:32,058 --> 00:06:32,991 My flight is boarding. 197 00:06:33,059 --> 00:06:34,460 I love you guys so much. 198 00:06:34,527 --> 00:06:36,061 Ok, baby. Well, we love you, too. 199 00:06:36,129 --> 00:06:37,163 Love you, angel. 200 00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:39,431 Have a great flight. Be safe. Ok. Bye. Bye. 201 00:06:39,499 --> 00:06:40,432 Mwah! 202 00:06:41,934 --> 00:06:43,901 ♪ she's got a boyfriend ♪ 203 00:06:43,969 --> 00:06:45,736 ♪ and he's from France ♪ 204 00:06:48,207 --> 00:06:49,140 Oh, she's probably calling back 205 00:06:49,207 --> 00:06:50,541 To tell us that she is in love. 206 00:06:50,609 --> 00:06:51,542 I want to talk this time. 207 00:06:51,610 --> 00:06:53,511 No. No. Bonjour. 208 00:06:55,380 --> 00:06:56,313 What? 209 00:06:56,381 --> 00:06:57,747 We found him in his car, 210 00:06:57,815 --> 00:06:59,681 Upside down on a dirt road, 211 00:06:59,749 --> 00:07:02,016 Clutching a twig. 212 00:07:05,687 --> 00:07:07,020 He, uh, he should be all right, 213 00:07:07,088 --> 00:07:08,654 But he got banged up pretty good. 214 00:07:08,722 --> 00:07:10,155 Are you related to the patient? 215 00:07:10,223 --> 00:07:12,623 Oh, our daughter's about to break up with him. 216 00:07:14,526 --> 00:07:16,526 Well, that should really lift his spirits. 217 00:07:16,594 --> 00:07:17,460 All right. 218 00:07:17,528 --> 00:07:18,528 I'll give you guys a minute. 219 00:07:18,595 --> 00:07:19,762 Ok. 220 00:07:26,568 --> 00:07:27,968 Doug. 221 00:07:28,036 --> 00:07:29,236 Doug. 222 00:07:29,304 --> 00:07:31,271 How's my car? 223 00:07:31,339 --> 00:07:33,740 Eddie! 224 00:07:36,276 --> 00:07:37,343 Are...are you ok, Doug? 225 00:07:37,410 --> 00:07:39,511 Tell us what happened. 226 00:07:40,579 --> 00:07:42,180 Well, when I was taking your shortcut 227 00:07:42,248 --> 00:07:43,881 Back from the airport, 228 00:07:43,949 --> 00:07:46,417 I was pretty emotional from saying good-bye to Allison. 229 00:07:46,485 --> 00:07:49,687 And I was cranking your neil diamond cd, 230 00:07:49,754 --> 00:07:51,689 And midway through forever in blue jeans, 231 00:07:51,756 --> 00:07:55,859 I hit a pothole and I just flipped the bitch. 232 00:07:57,328 --> 00:07:58,695 I tried to call Allison, 233 00:07:58,763 --> 00:08:00,397 But it went straight to her voice mail. 234 00:08:00,465 --> 00:08:02,632 She's probably in the air already. 235 00:08:02,700 --> 00:08:03,767 You know, like they say. 236 00:08:03,834 --> 00:08:05,802 C'est la vie. Soup du jour. 237 00:08:07,004 --> 00:08:08,371 I couldn't call my parents. 238 00:08:08,439 --> 00:08:10,741 We're not even on speaking terms. 239 00:08:10,808 --> 00:08:11,942 So, you guys were the only ones 240 00:08:12,010 --> 00:08:13,277 I could think of to reach out to. 241 00:08:13,345 --> 00:08:15,513 Well, we're glad that you did, Doug. 242 00:08:16,815 --> 00:08:19,016 Ok, we're gonna hit it. 243 00:08:20,485 --> 00:08:21,685 Oh, my God, Doug! 244 00:08:21,752 --> 00:08:23,386 Honey, what are you? 245 00:08:24,589 --> 00:08:25,856 Baby! 246 00:08:27,559 --> 00:08:30,193 My catheter. 247 00:08:33,965 --> 00:08:35,299 I thought you left? 248 00:08:35,366 --> 00:08:36,433 My plane was delayed, 249 00:08:36,501 --> 00:08:38,670 So I turned on my phone and I got your message. 250 00:08:38,738 --> 00:08:40,505 God, I can't believe I almost lost you. 251 00:08:40,572 --> 00:08:41,506 I missed you so much. 252 00:08:41,573 --> 00:08:42,940 Oh, I missed you more. 253 00:08:43,008 --> 00:08:44,675 I never want to be without you again. 254 00:08:44,743 --> 00:08:46,177 I never want to be without you again. 255 00:08:46,244 --> 00:08:47,377 Don't go to paris. 256 00:08:47,445 --> 00:08:48,711 Ok. Will you marry me? 257 00:08:48,779 --> 00:08:50,880 Totally. 258 00:08:56,185 --> 00:08:57,618 Baby, you ok? 259 00:08:58,587 --> 00:09:00,321 Not totally. 260 00:09:05,393 --> 00:09:08,094 Oh, this is so romantic. 261 00:09:08,162 --> 00:09:11,731 Our first time in the house as fiancee and... 262 00:09:11,799 --> 00:09:13,366 Guy who fianceed me. 263 00:09:14,368 --> 00:09:16,737 It's...it's almost as if the universe 264 00:09:16,805 --> 00:09:19,174 Had a master plan for us to be together. 265 00:09:20,710 --> 00:09:22,878 Yes. God has certainly made 266 00:09:22,946 --> 00:09:25,214 His feelings towards us very clear. 267 00:09:28,484 --> 00:09:31,419 May I get a glass of water for my fiance? 268 00:09:31,487 --> 00:09:32,787 Your fiance would love that. 269 00:09:32,854 --> 00:09:34,988 I'll be right back, fiance. 270 00:09:35,056 --> 00:09:36,389 I'll miss you, fiancee. 271 00:09:36,457 --> 00:09:37,556 Just... 272 00:09:37,624 --> 00:09:39,358 Go get him the water. 273 00:09:42,361 --> 00:09:44,362 Mr. And mrs. Stark... 274 00:09:44,430 --> 00:09:45,730 Wait, what am I saying? 275 00:09:45,798 --> 00:09:47,865 Mom, dad. 276 00:09:49,967 --> 00:09:50,833 I just want to thank you guys 277 00:09:50,901 --> 00:09:52,468 For everything that you're doing. 278 00:09:52,535 --> 00:09:55,436 Well, it's a pleasure, Doug. 279 00:09:55,504 --> 00:09:57,238 So, Doug, how about we get a hot meal in you 280 00:09:57,305 --> 00:10:00,306 And get you to a motel with a ramp? 281 00:10:00,374 --> 00:10:03,108 Dad, the doctor said it was going to be 6 weeks 282 00:10:03,176 --> 00:10:05,744 Before they can even take the screws out of his body. 283 00:10:05,812 --> 00:10:08,146 Well, actually, then they have to refracture me 284 00:10:08,214 --> 00:10:10,448 And even out my legs. 285 00:10:10,516 --> 00:10:13,150 You are gonna stay right here on this couch 286 00:10:13,218 --> 00:10:14,819 Until you get out of those casts 287 00:10:14,886 --> 00:10:16,720 And you're back on your feet. 288 00:10:16,788 --> 00:10:19,055 I'm gonna go grab mom's rubber spatula 289 00:10:19,122 --> 00:10:21,123 To work your itchy parts. 290 00:10:24,893 --> 00:10:26,527 Boy, there are so many things being said 291 00:10:26,595 --> 00:10:28,129 That I don't want to hear. 292 00:10:29,931 --> 00:10:30,931 All right. I think I'm gonna go up 293 00:10:30,998 --> 00:10:32,665 And get Doug a pair of your pajamas. 294 00:10:32,733 --> 00:10:34,733 And we have a winner. 295 00:10:37,503 --> 00:10:38,970 Hey, I heard about the accident. 296 00:10:39,038 --> 00:10:41,039 Wanted to come by and make sure everyone was ok. 297 00:10:41,106 --> 00:10:42,707 How you doing, man? 298 00:10:42,775 --> 00:10:43,774 Well, I'm in a lot of pain and... 299 00:10:43,842 --> 00:10:46,176 Cool. Listen, Eddie. 300 00:10:46,244 --> 00:10:47,777 Do not take your car to a body shop. 301 00:10:47,845 --> 00:10:49,012 My cousin jimmy is a mechanic. 302 00:10:49,079 --> 00:10:50,179 He'll hook you up. 303 00:10:50,247 --> 00:10:52,014 He'll fix your whole car for, like, 90 bucks. 304 00:10:52,082 --> 00:10:53,382 What are you talking about? 305 00:10:53,449 --> 00:10:54,949 Oh, yeah. He fixes dents. 306 00:10:55,017 --> 00:10:56,784 He'll pop that thing right on out. 307 00:10:56,852 --> 00:10:59,955 Kenny... Kenny, my whole front end is caved in. 308 00:11:00,022 --> 00:11:01,022 I'm telling you, man, 309 00:11:01,090 --> 00:11:02,757 The man will pop it out. 310 00:11:03,925 --> 00:11:06,161 All right. Who do I make the check out to? 311 00:11:07,062 --> 00:11:09,063 Make it out to pam's cupcakes. 312 00:11:15,067 --> 00:11:16,033 Great plan, Joy. 313 00:11:16,101 --> 00:11:17,067 Good job. 314 00:11:17,135 --> 00:11:18,201 Let's send her on a trip 315 00:11:18,269 --> 00:11:20,003 So she can sleep her way around europe 316 00:11:20,070 --> 00:11:21,637 The way mama did. 317 00:11:21,705 --> 00:11:23,339 I thought it would break them up. 318 00:11:23,406 --> 00:11:26,007 It got them engaged. 319 00:11:26,075 --> 00:11:27,842 You know, none of this would have happened 320 00:11:27,910 --> 00:11:29,877 If it weren't for your stupid shortcut. 321 00:11:29,944 --> 00:11:32,145 Hey, my shortcut got her to the plane on time. 322 00:11:32,213 --> 00:11:35,182 What idiot takes a shortcut on the way home? 323 00:11:35,249 --> 00:11:37,451 All right. You know what? 324 00:11:37,518 --> 00:11:40,220 If you know a shorter way, 325 00:11:40,287 --> 00:11:43,723 Why wouldn't you take it both ways, ass? 326 00:11:45,326 --> 00:11:46,392 Because, 327 00:11:46,460 --> 00:11:50,030 Mrs. Ass asserson, 328 00:11:50,097 --> 00:11:53,233 You take a shortcut en you want to get to some place faster. 329 00:11:53,300 --> 00:11:55,802 If everybody took a shortcut at the same time, 330 00:11:55,870 --> 00:11:56,836 What would it be? 331 00:11:56,904 --> 00:11:59,572 Clogged. Use your head, woman. 332 00:12:00,741 --> 00:12:02,808 Why don't you take a small shortcut to hell? 333 00:12:04,578 --> 00:12:07,913 Is that the potty mouth you used when you were turning tricks in Spain? 334 00:12:09,048 --> 00:12:12,417 Ok, everybody just calm down, all right? 335 00:12:12,485 --> 00:12:13,785 We are turning on each other 336 00:12:13,853 --> 00:12:16,622 And we have a very large problem downstairs 337 00:12:16,689 --> 00:12:19,491 And we need to work together and fix this. 338 00:12:19,559 --> 00:12:20,559 You're right. Ooh. 339 00:12:20,626 --> 00:12:21,894 We have to come up with a way 340 00:12:21,962 --> 00:12:23,396 Where Allison understands 341 00:12:23,463 --> 00:12:26,532 That this engagement is a big mistake. 342 00:12:26,600 --> 00:12:27,634 She is 21 years old. 343 00:12:27,701 --> 00:12:30,270 This is absolutely crazy. 344 00:12:30,338 --> 00:12:32,039 We just have to make her realize that. 345 00:12:33,208 --> 00:12:34,742 How are we going to do that? 346 00:12:39,046 --> 00:12:40,814 I...I got it. Ok. Here. 347 00:12:40,881 --> 00:12:41,881 We got married young. 348 00:12:41,949 --> 00:12:42,883 Really young. 349 00:12:42,950 --> 00:12:44,684 Way too young. Are you kidding me? 350 00:12:44,752 --> 00:12:45,952 Heh. Look how this turned out. 351 00:12:46,020 --> 00:12:47,553 It's awful. 352 00:12:47,621 --> 00:12:50,122 It's a disaster. It's a train wreck. 353 00:12:50,189 --> 00:12:51,923 I mean, look. We have no money. 354 00:12:51,991 --> 00:12:53,091 We have dead end jobs. 355 00:12:53,158 --> 00:12:54,558 No plans for the future. 356 00:12:54,626 --> 00:12:56,093 Hey, the only good thing to show for our marriage 357 00:12:56,160 --> 00:12:58,628 Is downstairs itchin' a cripple's business 358 00:12:58,696 --> 00:13:00,429 With your flatware. 359 00:13:03,666 --> 00:13:05,866 So, we'll tell Allison 360 00:13:05,933 --> 00:13:07,600 If she gets married this young, 361 00:13:07,668 --> 00:13:09,535 She's gonna turn out just like us. 362 00:13:09,603 --> 00:13:10,837 That'll scare the hell out of her. 363 00:13:10,905 --> 00:13:11,838 That's perfect. 364 00:13:11,906 --> 00:13:12,973 Let's go down there right now. 365 00:13:13,041 --> 00:13:14,207 No, no, no. We can't go right now. 366 00:13:14,275 --> 00:13:15,375 Not in front of Doug. 367 00:13:15,443 --> 00:13:16,910 Tomorrow, I will get her alone 368 00:13:16,978 --> 00:13:18,078 And I will take care of this. 369 00:13:18,146 --> 00:13:19,880 Oh...oh, ok. Ok. We'll do it that way. 370 00:13:19,947 --> 00:13:22,716 I mean, who better to show her how bad marriage is than us? 371 00:13:23,951 --> 00:13:24,951 I love you. 372 00:13:25,019 --> 00:13:26,286 I love you, too. 373 00:13:26,353 --> 00:13:27,286 You wanna have sex? 374 00:13:27,354 --> 00:13:29,187 No. Me neither. 375 00:13:36,229 --> 00:13:37,563 What are you doing? 376 00:13:37,630 --> 00:13:38,697 I thought you were gonna pop it out? 377 00:13:38,764 --> 00:13:39,897 I can't pop it out. 378 00:13:39,965 --> 00:13:41,899 I gave the man my word that you would pop it out. 379 00:13:41,966 --> 00:13:43,933 Some things are not poppable. 380 00:13:44,001 --> 00:13:45,935 Pop it! You pop it. I quit. 381 00:13:46,002 --> 00:13:47,603 Good! 382 00:13:49,605 --> 00:13:51,039 How's it going over there? 383 00:13:51,107 --> 00:13:53,040 Oh, good, good, good. 384 00:13:53,108 --> 00:13:54,341 Just taking a 5. 385 00:13:54,409 --> 00:13:55,909 Put on your driving gloves. 386 00:13:55,976 --> 00:13:57,977 Real soon. Vroom, vroom, vroom! 387 00:14:02,448 --> 00:14:05,616 Hey. 388 00:14:05,684 --> 00:14:06,916 How's it going, guys? 389 00:14:06,984 --> 00:14:07,950 Pretty good. 390 00:14:08,018 --> 00:14:10,952 I'm just reteaching my mouth how to chew. 391 00:14:11,954 --> 00:14:14,556 Guess who's up to pudding? 392 00:14:14,623 --> 00:14:16,924 You keep working the miracles, kids. 393 00:14:20,929 --> 00:14:22,196 All right. Well? 394 00:14:22,264 --> 00:14:23,464 So, did you talk to Allison? 395 00:14:23,531 --> 00:14:25,466 No, I haven't had a chance to get her alone. 396 00:14:25,533 --> 00:14:26,500 Ever since the engagement, 397 00:14:26,568 --> 00:14:28,669 Those two are joined at the shattered hip. 398 00:14:28,737 --> 00:14:32,271 Okay, guess who's ready for their sponge bath? 399 00:14:33,172 --> 00:14:34,473 Come here. What? 400 00:14:34,540 --> 00:14:35,774 Ahem. Hey, Allison! 401 00:14:35,842 --> 00:14:38,277 I think that maybe you've done enough for today. 402 00:14:38,344 --> 00:14:40,979 Why don't you let your...your dad take care of this one? 403 00:14:45,651 --> 00:14:47,750 Take care of what one? 404 00:14:47,818 --> 00:14:50,652 You know, giving Doug his sponge bath. 405 00:14:55,789 --> 00:14:57,255 What the hell? 406 00:15:02,127 --> 00:15:03,227 Come on. 407 00:15:03,295 --> 00:15:06,596 You know, I think that it will give me a chance 408 00:15:06,664 --> 00:15:08,464 To have some alone time with Allison 409 00:15:08,532 --> 00:15:11,033 And...and also an opportunity for you 410 00:15:11,101 --> 00:15:14,502 To do some father-in-law, son-in-law bonding. 411 00:15:14,570 --> 00:15:18,205 Oh, why do we have to jump right to sponge bath? 412 00:15:18,273 --> 00:15:20,574 Maybe I can wheel him to a strip club. 413 00:15:22,176 --> 00:15:24,077 Man up, grab a sponge, 414 00:15:24,144 --> 00:15:26,379 And bathe your future son-in-law. 415 00:15:27,480 --> 00:15:28,513 Sir, you don't have to do this 416 00:15:28,581 --> 00:15:30,215 If it makes you uncomfortable. 417 00:15:30,282 --> 00:15:32,650 No. I want to. 418 00:15:34,319 --> 00:15:37,788 No one knows how to bathe a man 419 00:15:37,856 --> 00:15:39,489 Better than another man. 420 00:15:53,442 --> 00:15:57,144 Sir, don't you think it would be more effective if you looked at me? 421 00:15:57,212 --> 00:15:58,879 No, I do not. 422 00:15:59,714 --> 00:16:00,980 Don't take it personally, 423 00:16:01,048 --> 00:16:03,116 But I once spent a whole summer washing dogs 424 00:16:03,183 --> 00:16:05,250 And I couldn't look them in the eye, either. 425 00:16:07,086 --> 00:16:09,187 Oh, yeah. That's the spot right there. 426 00:16:12,056 --> 00:16:13,857 What spot? 427 00:16:13,925 --> 00:16:15,125 No, I'm just... I'm just saying 428 00:16:15,193 --> 00:16:17,161 That that feels really good. 429 00:16:18,497 --> 00:16:20,165 Doug. Yes, sir? 430 00:16:20,233 --> 00:16:21,500 Say that one more time 431 00:16:21,568 --> 00:16:23,435 And I'm throwing in the hair dryer. 432 00:16:24,670 --> 00:16:26,571 You know, sweetie, I just, um, 433 00:16:26,638 --> 00:16:28,806 I want to talk about this engagement thing. 434 00:16:28,874 --> 00:16:31,508 I mean, you just... you're so young 435 00:16:31,576 --> 00:16:35,046 And your dad and I, we got married very young. 436 00:16:35,113 --> 00:16:38,216 I know. You guys totally inspire me. 437 00:16:42,222 --> 00:16:46,093 Inspire you to what? 438 00:16:47,728 --> 00:16:49,396 To be like you. 439 00:16:49,464 --> 00:16:52,732 I mean, I've always wanted what you guys have. 440 00:16:52,800 --> 00:16:55,435 Of course. I mean, who wouldn't? 441 00:16:57,305 --> 00:16:58,639 What exactly do we have? 442 00:16:59,507 --> 00:17:02,809 Uh, an amazing relationship? 443 00:17:02,876 --> 00:17:05,812 I mean, all of my friends' parents are divorced 444 00:17:05,879 --> 00:17:07,547 And they hate each other, 445 00:17:07,614 --> 00:17:09,348 But you guys, 446 00:17:09,416 --> 00:17:10,816 I mean, you're still together 447 00:17:10,884 --> 00:17:13,786 After all of these years and you still 448 00:17:13,854 --> 00:17:15,555 Are best friends. 449 00:17:17,458 --> 00:17:20,526 We do make a pretty good team, I guess. 450 00:17:20,593 --> 00:17:22,361 Pretty good? 451 00:17:22,428 --> 00:17:25,764 Mom, the reason that I'm so confident 452 00:17:25,832 --> 00:17:27,365 About getting married to Doug 453 00:17:27,433 --> 00:17:30,402 Is because you've shown me first hand 454 00:17:30,469 --> 00:17:33,238 How great a marriage can be. 455 00:17:37,009 --> 00:17:38,042 Are you crying? 456 00:17:38,110 --> 00:17:39,677 No. 457 00:17:41,313 --> 00:17:43,880 And perfect. 458 00:17:43,948 --> 00:17:45,315 All right. 459 00:17:45,382 --> 00:17:48,286 Ok, let's flip me over. 460 00:17:51,758 --> 00:17:52,825 Uh, just a heads up. 461 00:17:52,893 --> 00:17:53,893 The back of my thighs 462 00:17:53,960 --> 00:17:55,694 Is where a lot of things congeal. 463 00:17:55,762 --> 00:17:57,863 Ok. Ahem. 464 00:17:57,930 --> 00:17:58,763 You know what? 465 00:17:58,831 --> 00:18:00,036 Let's, uh, let's take a union fiver 466 00:18:00,104 --> 00:18:01,471 For the scrubber, huh? 467 00:18:01,539 --> 00:18:02,472 Yeah, yeah. 468 00:18:02,540 --> 00:18:03,707 Oh, God! 469 00:18:06,278 --> 00:18:07,445 Hey, sir. 470 00:18:07,512 --> 00:18:09,279 Can I share something with you? 471 00:18:10,714 --> 00:18:12,081 I'm kinda getting cold feet. 472 00:18:12,149 --> 00:18:13,249 Oh, oh, really? 473 00:18:13,317 --> 00:18:14,750 Really, Doug? So, your feet are cold now, huh? 474 00:18:14,818 --> 00:18:16,786 Well, it isn't going great over here, either. 475 00:18:16,853 --> 00:18:18,623 This is the least happy I've ever been 476 00:18:18,691 --> 00:18:20,058 Sitting on the toilet. 477 00:18:21,861 --> 00:18:24,262 No, no. I mean about the engagement. 478 00:18:32,305 --> 00:18:34,606 Go on. 479 00:18:34,674 --> 00:18:37,142 Well, I don't know if it was the emotion 480 00:18:37,209 --> 00:18:39,077 Of seeing Allison go away 481 00:18:39,144 --> 00:18:41,178 Or the trauma of the accident 482 00:18:41,246 --> 00:18:42,179 Or the fact that I was 483 00:18:42,247 --> 00:18:44,214 Pretty hopped up on painkillers. 484 00:18:44,282 --> 00:18:45,782 I mean, my body isn't used to drugs 485 00:18:45,850 --> 00:18:48,351 That don't come in a brownie, you know? 486 00:18:51,422 --> 00:18:52,488 Well, I'm starting to think 487 00:18:52,556 --> 00:18:55,090 That maybe I might have made a mistake. 488 00:18:55,158 --> 00:18:57,158 I mean, I love your daughter so much 489 00:18:57,226 --> 00:19:00,829 But I just...I'm not sure we're ready. 490 00:19:01,897 --> 00:19:03,564 If you're asking my permission 491 00:19:03,632 --> 00:19:05,833 To not marry my daughter, 492 00:19:05,900 --> 00:19:07,601 The answer is "yes." 493 00:19:12,742 --> 00:19:14,009 Joy? 494 00:19:14,076 --> 00:19:15,410 Joy Joy? 495 00:19:16,445 --> 00:19:17,779 Darling? 496 00:19:18,781 --> 00:19:21,516 Great news. The wedding's... 497 00:19:21,583 --> 00:19:23,084 In my bedroom. 498 00:19:24,886 --> 00:19:27,287 Listen, I thought you were going to talk her out of it. 499 00:19:27,355 --> 00:19:28,721 I know. I was going to, 500 00:19:28,789 --> 00:19:29,722 But then, you know, 501 00:19:29,790 --> 00:19:31,524 She started talking about you and me 502 00:19:31,591 --> 00:19:33,826 And how she admired our relationship 503 00:19:33,893 --> 00:19:35,694 And how cute we are together 504 00:19:35,761 --> 00:19:37,228 And I just want to eat your nose. 505 00:19:37,295 --> 00:19:38,963 What is wrong with you? 506 00:19:39,030 --> 00:19:39,997 Nothing. 507 00:19:40,065 --> 00:19:41,699 It's just Allison reminded me 508 00:19:41,767 --> 00:19:43,534 That we actually have a pretty great marriage 509 00:19:43,602 --> 00:19:45,969 And, you know, we're her role models. 510 00:19:46,036 --> 00:19:46,936 What are you? High? 511 00:19:47,003 --> 00:19:48,203 Did you get into Doug's brownies? 512 00:19:48,271 --> 00:19:49,304 What? Come on, Eddie. 513 00:19:49,372 --> 00:19:52,241 I'm happy. They're happy. Everybody's happy. 514 00:19:52,308 --> 00:19:53,542 Well, I'm not happy 515 00:19:53,609 --> 00:19:55,577 Because I just spent an hour playing rub-a-dub-Doug 516 00:19:55,644 --> 00:19:57,578 So you could put the kibosh on this. 517 00:19:57,646 --> 00:20:00,781 I'm sorry. I guess I just got a little swept up in the moment. 518 00:20:00,849 --> 00:20:01,782 Swept up in the moment? 519 00:20:01,850 --> 00:20:03,317 You practically set the date. 520 00:20:03,384 --> 00:20:04,484 Well, actually... 521 00:20:04,552 --> 00:20:05,452 But...but! 522 00:20:05,519 --> 00:20:07,620 Please, listen. It doesn't matter, ok? 523 00:20:07,688 --> 00:20:09,522 Because Doug already has cold feet, 524 00:20:09,589 --> 00:20:12,224 And he agrees that they're too young to even do this. 525 00:20:12,292 --> 00:20:14,059 Doug, tell her what you told me earlier. Go ahead. 526 00:20:19,397 --> 00:20:20,597 What do you think? 527 00:20:20,665 --> 00:20:23,333 I don't know how I ever could have doubted this. 528 00:20:23,401 --> 00:20:25,735 You're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. 529 00:20:31,874 --> 00:20:33,108 Oh, I'm hurt. 530 00:20:35,678 --> 00:20:39,313 Ok, we got $1,500 for a nonrefundable plane ticket. 531 00:20:39,380 --> 00:20:40,414 Yep. 532 00:20:40,481 --> 00:20:42,116 And you prepaid the room and board 533 00:20:42,183 --> 00:20:43,417 For an entire semester. 534 00:20:43,484 --> 00:20:45,352 Sure did. Saved us 50 bucks. 535 00:20:45,419 --> 00:20:46,553 Ok, so, 50 bucks 536 00:20:46,620 --> 00:20:49,255 Goes towards the $700 penalty I had to pay 537 00:20:49,323 --> 00:20:52,724 For an uninsured motorist driving my car. 538 00:20:52,792 --> 00:20:55,359 And that leaves us a net loss of... 539 00:20:55,427 --> 00:20:56,560 2150. 540 00:20:57,663 --> 00:20:59,230 2150. 541 00:20:59,298 --> 00:21:01,132 Ok, that means all the food in our kitchen 542 00:21:01,200 --> 00:21:03,101 Has to last us for another... 543 00:21:03,169 --> 00:21:05,337 3 months. But...but... but...but. 544 00:21:08,207 --> 00:21:09,774 3 months. 545 00:21:13,680 --> 00:21:14,613 How's my car? 546 00:21:14,681 --> 00:21:16,448 I'm gonna level with you, man. 547 00:21:16,516 --> 00:21:20,318 Bad news is, we cannot fix that car for 90 bucks. 548 00:21:20,386 --> 00:21:21,419 Good news is, my cousin tito 549 00:21:21,487 --> 00:21:23,688 Will tow it away for $120. 550 00:21:23,756 --> 00:21:25,357 Can I get an apple? Not until March. 551 00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:28,000 Sync by fant0m www.addic7ed.com 552 00:21:28,050 --> 00:21:32,600 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0